What Jenny's Reading

{May 20, 2014}   Game of Thrones, Book 3: Thoughts

So much happened in this book that I honestly thought I’d finished the third and had started the fourth! Let’s get to it:

1. Coincidentally enough, “Chett” is one of the names I use when I’m talking about fictional Chipster dudebros (the other one is “Chad”). Ha ha ha! He peed himself.
2. I’m guessing that Catelyn’s total leave-taking from her senses is because she thinks her two sons are dead, and she seems to think that returning Jaime will return the girls to her. Has she met Joffrey?
3. I don’t trust Margaery at all. She seems nice, but I think it’s some kind of ploy to force the Stark family to side with the Lannisters. Or some other kind of thing. I don’t know. Sansa seems to trust her way too much for everything she’s experienced.
4. There’s a whole bunch about Brienne and Jaime traveling together. I started to wonder if they were going to do it, but obviously Brienne is way too good for him, so no.
5. Robb married someone he shouldn’t have, because he apparently slept with her and couldn’t leave her dishonored. I guess that’s nice, but remember the whole “marry a Frey to secure your alliance” thing? I think the Stark motto shouldn’t be “Winter is coming,” it should be “We’re stupid (honorable).”
6. So Balon Greyjoy is “mysteriously dead,” is he? Fell from a bridge? That’s not suspicious at all.
7. And now there is resurrection. Do they resurrect interesting characters like Khal Drogo? No, they do not. Next!
8. Daenerys freeing the slaves was awesome. Also the thing with Selmy and Mormont was interesting. At least now we know what Mormont was doing back when he left her and she almost drank the poisoned wine. When did he decide he was her man, exactly, I wonder?
9. I wish I could go back and make a joke about Robb’s Fisher Price My First Army action figure set. Damn you, Past Me! Be funnier!
10. Arya spends a lot of time getting kidnapped by other people. Poor kid. She ends up with the Hound, who while crazy seems bent on getting her back to her family, so I guess that’s nice. Holy cow, I just realized she’s been on the run for thousands of pages. Girl needs a spa day and a nap.
11. Geez, Edmure, do you think you could complain MORE about your arranged marriage? Did you see Daenerys complaining about hers that much? Or your own sister? Or freaking SANSA, engaged to a lunatic? Nope.
12. I know I should be horrified about the Red Wedding, but seriously, Starks, what did you expect? This Frey dude is crazy and you know it, and yet you came to his wedding/feast. Haven’t you ever seen a calf fatted for slaughter?
13. Ygritte’s dead! Hooray! I know lots of people liked her, but I’m glad she’s gone. She was rude, and mean, and nowhere near as badass as she seemed to think she was.
14. And Joffrey’s dead too? Is it my birthday? That was AWESOME. (Also apparently Joffrey was behind Bran’s assassination attempt, but I guess we’ll never really know why now.)
15. Geez, Littlefinger, could you be any grosser? Creeping on a frightened little girl is the height of ick.
16. I don’t understand the wildlings and the Wall battle. I know they’re trying to pass the Wall because it’s not safe, but why immediately decide they’ll be in a battle? Why not ask for a parlay or something with the Black Brothers? Is it that they want to pass and enjoy the protections and safety of the realm’s governance, but don’t want to subject themselves to the realm’s rules?
17. You disappoint me, Bronn, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.
18. Oh, COME ON. You introduce an awesome, interesting character like Oberyn, and kill him pretty much immediately? Why fucking bother? This series better end with Daenerys and Arya walking over the dragonfire-burned corpses of all the horrible, evil people in these books, because otherwise I feel like I’m just wasting my time here.
19. I was right! The wildlings want the protection of the Wall, but they don’t want to follow the rules behind the Wall. While I can appreciate the sentiment, that just isn’t how society works, guys.
20. Ooh, Arya’s headed to Braavos! Does this mean we’ll get to see Jaqan again?
21. And Jon is Lord Commander of the Watch. Good for him? I’m just happy Ghost is back. Is he the only direwolf left? No, wait – Summer and Shaggydog are still alive, and I guess Arya’s might be too.
22. I felt so bad for Sansa when she realized people would only want her for the potential match she could make, and she’d never find real love. I know I made fun of her earlier, but that made me sad for her.
23. I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT! Lysa did kill her husband! Woooooo go me!
24. It’s the Zombie Apocalypse, guys! It’s here, and by the description they gave of Catelyn’s appearance, it’s really, really gross.


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