What Jenny's Reading

{November 2, 2014}   Review: Gone Girl, Pt. 2

I realized I’ve had this one done awhile, so wanted to post it.  I’m still not finished with the book yet, but I’m hoping that either today or tomorrow I will be and can finish up the last part of the review.

1. Incidentally, in the book, Go and the news media keep calling Nick Lance, which he hates. We find out later that Lance is his real first name, with Nicholas as his middle. That made me laugh a little, because I honestly thought Go was just calling him by a random name she associates with jerkoffs.
2. Nick goes to visit Desi, one of Amy’s supposed stalkers from high school and college. He is a weird guy, but interesting. He throws a tiny bit of blame toward Amy’s dad, and also mentions the police have been to see him already. His mom apparently looks like Amy. Interesting.
3. Then Nick goes home to meet the cops, and they’ve turned on him as a suspect. Apparently Amy was close with one of their neighbors, Noelle, who says that Amy said Nick married her for the money. Also, someone took out over two hundred thousand dollars in credit card debt in Nick’s name. He says it’s not his, and I believe it. And, they searched his computer, and found some internet searches that look pretty damning. Honestly, though, the dude was a writer. I’m not a real writer and I bet some of my internet searches look pretty damning in the wrong light.
4. Amy had $1.2 million in life insurance, though, which had been bumped up recently. And, finally, the struggle in the living room was clearly staged, but they found traces of Amy’s blood type all over the kitchen.
5. Crazy Noelle storms the candlelight vigil that was set up to find Amy, and also to make Nick look less like a suspect. She freaks out on him, and then says Amy was pregnant. Whoa.
6. Oh, and Andie’s there, and she’s all upset that Nick talked lovingly of Amy, and also about the pregnancy thing. NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, ANDIE.
7. Interlude with Amy again. She tells us that Nick’s mom is now dead, and that Nick got so angry at her one night he shoved her and she fell, hitting her head. That was when she went to buy the gun. She also mentioned he’d been looking at credit card bills, so I don’t know what’s up with all this.
8. They subpoena Amy’s medical records and find out that she was pregnant.
9. Flashback. Amy is pregnant, and excited and terrified. She did tell Noelle. She is afraid to tell Nick. She thinks he might do something to her. Like kill her.
10. Nick goes to New York and sees a lawyer named Tanner Bolt who specializes in defending husbands accused of murder. Sort of like a male Gloria Allred, but with crime instead of divorce. The guy takes the case and Nick actually realizes that he’s been a gigantic dick to Amy for years. Good!
11. Oh, and Bolt’s retainer is a hundred thousand dollars. I don’t know where Nick plans on getting that kind of money.
12. Amy’s parents aren’t taking Nick’s calls anymore, either.
13. Nick figures out the last clue, and realizes it’s probably some kind of cradle for the baby. He goes out to his sister’s woodshed and opens the door, and that’s the end of that part of the book.
14. FINALLY. We get Real Amy, not Diary Amy. The diary was fiction, so at least part of Theories #1 and #3 are correct. She staged the whole thing and is now driving somewhere. This is back on day one, before anyone knew she was gone.
15. There’s nothing I can add to the “Cool Girl” passage that hasn’t already been explored by other, better writers. But I will say this: I love Amy’s subversion of the troupe: “I waited patiently – years – for the pendulum to swing the other way, for men to start reading Jane Austen, learn how to knit, pretend to love cosmos, organize scrapbook parties, and make out with each other while we leer. And then we’d say, Yeah, he’s a Cool Guy.” Awesome.
16. Oh, Amy. You are so, so clever. We find out what Nick finds in the woodshed. It’s ALL THE STUFF HE SWORE HE DIDN’T BUY ON THE CREDIT CARDS HE SWORE HE DIDN’T HAVE. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and bonus: all the places she hid the notes, and the clues? They were hints that she knew he’d been cheating on her. They were all hidden in places where he’d cheated on her with Andie.
17. I know I’m going to end up upset with her, but in this moment, Amy Elliott Dunne is my hero. She’s so precise in her takedown.
18. Okay, fine. So Nick shows everything to Go, and says it’s not his stuff. That Amy bought it to frame him. They find her final present, which is creepy puppet dolls, that Go figures must be Punch and Judy dolls. I don’t really know these dolls, honestly. I think they were before my time and I hate puppets, they are creepy. But Go says that Punch is always killing Judy and a baby, and that Amy’s lesson is now Nick will be punished like Punch never was.
19. So Punch and Judy were childrens’ entertainment? And he kills her and a baby? Holy fuck, what type of world are we living in here? No freaking wonder we have a violence problem in America.
20. Anyway. Why would she leave a note like that? Couldn’t he show it to the cops and rouse their suspicions? At least talk about it with his fancy attorney, who could probably use it to inspire reasonable doubt. Does Amy think he’s so stupid, so arrogant, that he won’t?
21. You guys, I still love her. She’s just so gloriously fucking nuts. She’s going to kill herself to get even with Nick for cheating on her, and for her parents for stealing her money and making her into some unattainable perfection whatever with their books. This is commitment, people! I wish I had half the conviction Amy does.
22. Okay, so Nick does tell his fancy lawyer about the whole thing. Fancy lawyer is all, you are ten pounds of crazy in a five pound bag, buddy. But he takes a look at everything and finally agrees it’s a possibility.
23. Sure, Nick. The cheating was okay, because it was preemptive to Amy’s crazy. You aren’t that big an asshole, because she’s a psycho bitch. Whatever you need to tell yourself. Oh, and I have a feeling this thing with you heading to a bar, getting drunk, and chatting up a reporter is probably not going to go well.
24. Okay, here’s the thing about Diary Amy: I thought some of it would be true. As in, I thought it was true at first, and as it went along we’d see a devolution in their relationship that would explain her behavior. Not that the whole diary was fake. Still, I think it’s a brilliant plan.
25. Nick has also chatted with other people in the past accused of things against Amy. He talks to a guy who is accused of raping Amy, and a friend from high school who supposedly stalked Amy. The rapist guy actually seems way more credible than the stalker, honestly. But honestly they both seem really, really dumb. I just can’t feel that sorry for high school best friend.
26. Amy again. She sees Nick’s interview, and it’s actually good press. He did something right for a change. But then Greta and Jeff – the people at the cabins she’s been hanging out with – steal her money. They are the worst, and I truly mean that, even though Amy’s committing what could arguably be the more heinous crime. Thieves can go fuck themselves straight to hell. I hope she finds them and cuts their faces off.
27. Nick’s proud of himself for having put on such a good show. So Nick’s on the upswing now, and Amy’s on the downswing. I guess I’m supposed to be rooting for Nick, but I just can’t. He sucks too much.
28. Tanner and Go are pissed about the video, but Tanner wants to use it to their advantage. Nick’s going on some show to discuss Amy and all. Nick has the gall to be pissy about the whole idea of a canned but genuine interview, as if he’s got room to talk. Also, Tanner wants him to talk about Andie, and Nick’s all, but nobody knows!
29. I feel you, Tanner. See, every client thinks the bad stuff won’t come out. IT ALWAYS COMES OUT. I’m not joking. We have a term for it: the “ex” factor. Ex-wife, ex-friend, ex-coworker, ex-in-law, ex-whatever. They hate you, and they want you to suffer. YOU HAVE NO SECRETS, NICK.
30. See, if I’m Tanner, right about now I’m shaking Nick’s hand, saying “Fuck you very much,” and heading back to my fancy office with whatever I’ve billed from that gigantic retainer. Nick, you paid this guy ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. Maybe try listening to what he has to say.
31. And now I’ve outed myself. Yeah, I’m a lawyer, but not a criminal lawyer.
32. Tanner takes Nick to the interview, and he and his wife Betsy prep him. They do a pretend interview, and every time he does something wrong, they throw jellybeans at him, or hit him with a newspaper. THIS IS AWESOME YOU GUYS.
33. Nick is pissy because Tanner and his wife are now talking about his potential arrest, and theories they’d use at trial. I mean, come on, Nick. You do have a right to be pissed about this, but YOU ARE PAYING THIS GUY TO THINK LIKE THIS TO KEEP YOU OUT OF PRISON.
34. Amy has nowhere to turn, so she calls Desi. She tells us that she isn’t afraid of him at all, and OH MY GOD. This is like Twilight, you guys! You know how Edward was always so creepy and Bella was always so okay with it? I want Amy and Desi to be like that. I want them to be forever psycho and ride off into the sunset together.
35. I know I sound nuts. I don’t care. It’s fiction, I can like whichever characters I want.
36. Amy lied about Desi’s suicide attempt, and also apparently lied to Desi about her father abusing her. At least that explains why Desi told Nick to talk to her dad. He “convinces” her to come to his lake house/mansion to stay safe for awhile. On their way out of whatever bar or casino they’re in, Amy sees Andie on TV, doing an interview. Please remember, this is literally right before Nick was supposed to record his interview.
37. Andie’s all remorseful and sad, and says she’s cooperating with the police. Great timing, girl! Nick’s interview is almost devastated, but he’s able to pull it back from the brink and recapture the audience. Well, recapture the interviewer, at least. However, things continue to go bad for him when the police get a tip about Go’s woodshed, they find all the stuff, and Go is apparently arrested. Nick’s fingerprints are all over everything, and Nick decides Amy must’ve done it in his sleep. Again, the attention to detail is just marvelous here.
38. Oh, and they’ve found her diary.


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