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{September 7, 2016}   Supernatural: Thin Lizzie

So today is my blog-versary!  Yay!

Okay.  That’s enough, yeah?  How about another episode of Supernatural?

I swear I was about to type “I’m trying to burn through them all before summer’s over” and I realized fucking hell, summer’s over already!

So we interrupt your regularly scheduled Darkness hunt for a good old fashioned ghost hunt!

(Not really.  But let’s pretend for a few minutes, shall we?)

The episode starts with our hapless soon-to-be-dead people in peril.  There’s a quick mention of the Ghostfacers.  Aw, I sort of miss those guys.  “Hell House” was a great episode, and “Ghostfacers” was pretty fun and creative.  The characters are somewhat annoying, but they don’t guest enough on the show for me to dislike them.

A teenaged couple are in a creepy looking bedroom, which they alluded to as being haunted.  The boy turns on an old record with horrible music, and the lights go out.  It’s spooky, and the boy is clearly hoping to use the atmosphere to get laid.  I don’t really feel super sorry for him when he’s murdered, but I do feel sorry for the girlfriend.

Okay, preliminaries over with, we’re back in the bunker with our boys.  Sam has found this as a possible hunt.  Also, possums are marsupials, which we learn because the first possible hunt Sam found involved people going crazy because they ate rabid possum meat.  Anyway, the killings happened in Fall River, at the Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast, which Dean thinks is a terrible tourist trap name.  He quickly calls Sam on his serial killer obsession.  Have we seen this before?  It seems familiar.  I don’t think it’s something they made up for this episode.

Sam convinces Dean they should at least check it out, since they have no leads on Amara anyway.  Also, salting and burning the bones will be super easy, as the whole family’s buried right there in the same town.  Dean expresses some concern for Castiel being alone in the bunker, and Sam tells him that Cas is watching The Wire, so Dean is reassured that Cas will be fine for the duration of the hunt.  He probably won’t even notice they’re gone, honestly.  Didn’t I say we might never see him again?

B&B!  The desk clerk is arguing with the owner, who is apparently his mom.  They’ve had a ton of cancellations because of the murders, but the desk clerk forgot to cancel their standing Danish order.  Desk Clerk argues that our boys look like they can put away some pastry, and interestingly, it’s Sam’s reaction they focus on, not Dean’s.  And Sam is…agreeing?  What’s happened to you, Sammy?  I thought you were all about healthy eating and farmer’s markets.

The boys manage to talk their way into Lizzie’s actual room with some extra money to Desk Clerk, who’s just been informed that the extra pastry will come out of his paycheck.  You know what I like about this episode?  Well, one of the things I liked, at least.  They don’t pretend to be FBI, just interested civilians.  I miss when they’d do all sorts of identities and disguises.  (Me, from the future: Sigh.)  And the upshot of this scene is that the boy who died was a descendant of the Bordens, so maybe we have a motive?

We don’t.  But I’m trying to get into the spirit of a good old fashioned ghost hunt!

Okay.  The boys enter their room – Lizzie’s room – and Dean notes there’s just one bed.  He seems to think the clerk screwed them over, even though they specifically requested this room.  Sam tells him in no uncertain terms that he’s keeping the room, so if Dean wants his own bed, he’s going to have to go back to the clerk.

Of note: EMF is off the charts, but there’s no sign of anything in the room.  Sam sprays the perfume on the dresser and tells Dean it’s likely eau de toilette, which Dean finds horrifying, because Dean never learned the basics of French and probably never bought a girl perfume before.  He decides to take a walk to wash the Grandma scent off.

Sam investigates, and finds a huge EMF reader in the attic.  Dean sees a random guy taking pictures outside, and also finds a recorder with the woman crying and all the other noises guests complained about.  They regroup back in the room, and Dean shows Sam a playback device hidden by a picture.  Sam is super disappointed that Lizzie’s ghost isn’t real, but I’m not surprised at all.  I always assumed that haunted hotels would do some kind of ghostly stuff for the tourists.  Half the draw is the possibility you’ll see a ghost, right?

Dean wants to call the whole thing off, but Sam doesn’t, because he still wants to know why the kids died.  Dean suggests they chat about it over a beer and a lobster roll.  Sure, if you’re into lobster rolls, or lobster in general.  I’m not.  Lobster is just giant sea cockroaches, people.

Quick scene of the hotel’s owner being killed.  Oh, shit, now the boys are FBI.  They try to claim they were undercover, and the clerk rightly calls them out for sucking at their fake jobs.  Dean mentions the guy with the camera from earlier, and finds out it’s just somebody called Len, who’s been banned from the property for being generally creepy but is considered relatively harmless.

Now they’re in suits, and Sam is excited by the idea they might be hunting a real live serial killer, and not a ghost.  Well, yeah.  That would actually be kind of interesting, for the boys to discover it’s a real person behind killings, to see what they’d do.  Didn’t that happen once before?  Was it Season Seven, with the guy who’d been possessed by a demon in a previous case?

Anyway, they get a call from the officer who was at the scene earlier, who tells them there was another victim.  I guess “next county over” is descriptive enough, because Sam hangs up and the boys decide to split up.  Sam will cover the murder, and Dean will check on Len.

The victim was a husband and father who was found by a babysitter, Sydney.  Sydney is very helpful, and the widow is a total bitch who doesn’t care about any of this and is raising red flags all over the place, with her demanding Sam to leave and all.

Dean’s gone to Len’s house.  Len is a creepy superfan of Lizzie Borden, and also a curator of an unofficial basement museum.  He shows off his Victorian spirit camera and says he’s never been able to capture Lizzie’s spirit on film, but that he’s seen her before, as a fine gray mist.  Seems legit!  Len also mentions the restraining order that keeps him from entering the B&B, and also that there’s a gag order on said restraining order.  Dean is able to get him to tell the story by reminding Len that he’s a (fake!) federal agent.  It’s way less salacious and way less full of necrophilia than you were probably imagining.  Well, at least that’s what I was imagining.

Anyway.  Len is annoyed that he’s supposed to lead a live chat about Lizzie, which strikes Dean as odd.  A clue!

Back to Sam.  He’s trying to float his theory that the wife is evil, but the cop isn’t buying it, saying that people have freaky reactions to loss and shock.  Well, yeah.  But she still sucks, unless we find out later that he was a raping child molester or something.

Dean.  He’s going through Len’s stuff and sees a drawing of the Mark of Cain.  He gets a little aggressive with Len, who tries to fib that he found it on a ghost website.  But then he caves, and tells Dean about the young girl he met outside Lizzie’s house who had the strange birthmark.  In his memory, Len is super sweet with Amara, and gives her a little lesson in Bordenology.

Ew.  Sorry!  Just…I don’t think that came out right at all.  What I meant to say was, he tells her some history about the house and the Borden family.

This teenaged actress grates my nerves, you guys.  She’s so…ugh.  Her intonation is very flat, and she bitches about how much Lizzie’s parents sucked.  That…really isn’t a relation point for Amara, considering we find out later in the season that she had no parents.  Let’s just skip forward to Amara eating Len’s soul, why don’t we?

Dean is horrified by the story, and how old Amara is now.  He makes up that she’s a runaway, and Len is crazy desperate to find her, since she ate his soul but he doesn’t realize what she did.  Only that he feels nothing, and even the things he used to love are boring.  He doesn’t sleep or dream, which is interesting, because sleeping is sort of a prerequisite to dreaming, but whatever, let’s move on.  He tells Dean he’s sold all his Lizzie stuff, and he’s playacting at being a superfan because that’s what he remembers.  He seems to hope that if he pretends enough, he’ll go back to normal.  Also, he calls himself a “robot puppet man,” which will never not be funny.

Dean calls Sam to fill him in, and they talk about what they should do about Len, considering Jenna started murdering people.  They decide he wasn’t the one who killed the crappy lady’s husband.  Dean is concerned about having to kill Len, and Sam reminds Dean that they save people now, rather than killing them.  Dean retaliates by telling Sam he’s the one who needs to tell Len he doesn’t have a soul, considering his personal experience and all.  Sam is actually falling along the lines of not telling him at all, because there’s nothing to do about it.  He also mentions crappy lady’s attitude, so they decide maybe she’s also missing her soul.

At crappy lady’s house, no one’s home, so Sam calls Sydney, who suggests they try Don’s “special friend” and I think Don is the kid.  The kid is maybe ten, so what the fuck is she talking about “special friend”?  We never really find out.  What’s important is the boys head over to the special friend’s house, with Len in tow.  Len proves to be simultaneously the most adorable and more annoying soulless person ever, as he won’t shut up about all the stuff he used to love.  He wonders whether it’s a brain tumor or a stroke.  He says he feels like something’s hatching inside him, “something dark, with wings.”

Dean’s had enough of this, so he handcuffs Len to the car and tells him he doesn’t have a soul.  Len is aghast, and Sam is disgusted.  Len wants his soul back, but Sam tells him he can’t get it back.  Well, I guess unless your name is Sam Winchester and Death owes you a favor.  Len is happy that at least he knows what’s wrong with him now.

The boys break into Special Friend’s house, and Dean ducklips his way through the property till he finds the basement.  And then crappy lady’s dead body.  Oops.

There’s another dead guy too, but I have no idea who that is.  Don’s “special friend”?  If so, he deserved to be killed horribly.

Sam finds the kid in a closet.  Oh, so maybe the kid is called Jordy, not Don?  So I guess Don was the husband who had a special friend?  Well, then why did Sydney care so much about getting “Don” in trouble if he was already dead?  Okay, officially not caring about this.  Let’s just say he was Don’s special friend, and thus gay, and not a child molester who deserved to be killed horribly.  Now I feel bad for thinking that.

Sydney’s behind Sam with a shotgun.  I think she knocks him out?  Or maybe just forces him into the basement.

Next thing we know, Dean’s waking up from being knocked out.  Sam’s tied up in a chair.  I have no idea where Jordy is.  Not upstairs calling the police, I guess.  Sydney tells them her stupid boring story about having her soul sucked out by Amara, and how happy and blissful she is now that she doesn’t have to worry about anything.  The only funny thing about this is that Amara called Sydney “drunk girl” and advised her not to drive drunk.  Boring, whatever.  The boys get away, and Len saves them by shooting her, hooray!

Oh, if you’re curious, it turns out that Sydney’s trust fund ex-boyfriend was the guy from the beginning of the episode, and that’s why she killed them.  Really, Syd?  Honestly you seemed better off without him.  He was a tool.  Oh, and the inn owner cheated her out of two weeks’ pay.  And Jordy’s parents sucked too, I guess, since his dad was dealing meth and his mom was a slut.  If you believe Sydney, of course, which I don’t know if she’s the world’s most reliable witness.

I really wish they’d elaborated more on this whole bliss and peace thing with the Darkness.  They mention it several times but never explain what it means.

Sam has a heart-to-heart with Jordy about his family.  Jordy’s going to stay with his aunt Kathy, I guess.  Am I the only one who thinks this kid is weird?  Or, in the alternative, doesn’t care about this kid?  I guess I only have enough room in my heart for so many people in peril, and Len won the prize this episode.

In the end, Len decides he’ll take responsibility for the murders so he gets locked up, since he knows he’s going to end up like Jenna and Sydney.  Dean seems to think that he might be able to save himself, but Len disagrees.  He remembers what it felt like to do the right thing.  Aw, I like Len.  Poor guy.  I hope he does okay.

The boys are by a pier, eating lobster rolls (probably).  Sam confesses that he’s terrified of the Darkness, because they know almost nothing about her.  They decide they need to follow the bodies to find her.  They drive off, and from the woods Amara comes out.  She watches them and waves, saying she’ll see Dean soon.

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