What Jenny's Reading

{July 9, 2017}   Supernatural: The Vessel

I was really not looking forward to this episode, I’ll admit.  I really can’t explain why, but I hate, HATE 1940s stuff.  Maybe it’s the uniforms?  Maybe it’s that Hitler is somehow always involved?  Maybe it’s that they’re always in fucking submarines, and I don’t trust submarines?

I mean, really.  They’re compressed metal tubes hundreds of feet below the ocean surface.  WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?  I guess you could say I feel about submarines the same way that Dean feels about flying.

Okay.  Episode starts with a creepy Nazi (redundant, I know) and his French lady lover, named Delphine.  She is very pretty and very sexy, and excited about some weapon he found.  She gets him to let her see it, and then she murders him with her hairpin.

I’m not the only woman (or person with long hair) who has elaborate fantasies/plans about murdering people with their hair accessories, right?

So Delphine steals the weapon and kills her lover, and tells him that pretending to love him was the worst thing she’s had to do in her very difficult life, but that watching him die is the best.  Delphine is a badass, and I already love her, so we know she’s a dead woman, right?

I didn’t really like the “The Men of Letters send their regards.”  I know it’s a play on Game of Thrones, but it felt weird and stilted.  How about, “The Men of Letters thank you for your service” or something, since this is wartime?  I dunno.  Maybe if she’d said it when she stabbed him in the neck, that would’ve been better.  But maybe that would’ve been too much like Game of Thrones?

In the present, Dean is pissed that Sam drank all their coffee.  Sam has been WORKING, Dean, what the hell have you been doing?  Sexting with Casifer, I bet.  You do look pretty tired for a guy who slept in his own bed, after all.  Sam is looking for a way to stop Amara.  Sam has discovered the Nazis had a whole branch dedicated to evil archeology, and that they claimed to have found a weapon that would win the war.  Dean points out that they didn’t win, and Sam says it was stolen.  It turns out that Delphine was the Nazis’ suspect, but they never found her.  Sam thinks she was a lady Men of Letters.

Of note: Dean has no idea what “Une Femme des Lettres” means.  Jesus fuck, Dean.  You must be tired.  You’re smarter than that.

Unless he’s just fucking with Sam because Sam drank all the coffee.  Let’s go with that one, as it is both in character and funny.

This leads to the boys searching through the library, and Dean mentioning that he’s surprised the MOL were all about the gender equality, and Sam thinks it was just because it was the 1940s and they needed lady help since men were fighting the war.  I am not going to talk about the sexism and misogyny and whatever because that would take me way too long and probably require flow charts.  I just want to register my displeasure about the whole thing.  But hey, at least the boys are mentioning it, and not me?

Sam and Dean find an accounting of Delphine’s mission, and that she was coming back on the Bluefin, a submarine (of fucking COURSE), but that it went down and the wreckage was never found.  Dean decides they’ll use the angel up their sleeve to time travel back to the sub, grab the weapon, and come home.  So easy!  Nothing at all will go wrong!

Meanwhile, Casifer is hanging out on Hell’s throne, playing Angry Birds or Flappy Bird or some other game with obnoxious music on his iPad.  (Aside: did anyone else expect the throne to be bigger?  And maybe made of skulls?)  A bunch of demons are standing around awkwardly.  They all are wearing suits.  Just once I want to see a demon wearing, like sweatpants or something.  Is this some sort of demon uniform?

Okay, so I realized that it’s Crowley’s throne, and he would never use skulls.  So Casifer isn’t even in Hell, he’s at that asylum.  For some reason I found that funny.  Nobody wants to stay in Hell.

Anyway.  The demons try to get Casifer’s attention, and he tells them he doesn’t care about their problems.  So a lady demon (Simmons?) says she wants to deploy some troops to look for Amara, since they’ve had a coward on the throne too long.

Casifer has Crowley chained up in a “kennel,” which is basically a cage in the wall.  He’s also dressed him in the strangest outfit we’ve ever seen Crowley wear.  It is a thing of beauty, and I laughed so hard when I first saw it that I had to stop the episode, back up, and watch it again.

So Crowley’s in his kennel, wearing what appears to be every dad ever’s vacation outfit, and you KNOW Casifer made that part of the torture.  It’s what Crowley would’ve done, after all.  Remember Meg’s hair?  Crowley bitches at the other demons for being rude and disrespectful.

Casifer lets Crowley out of his cage, and gathers his weapons, which I guess suck, because he sends all the demons away and chats with Crowley.  Crowley thinks that if Casifer thought he could take Amara out, he’d have already done it.  Casifer agrees, calls Crowley “puppy,” and mentions he knows Crowley’s still defiant, plotting his escape.  Duh.

Before they can really get into it, though, Dean calls, and Casifer pretends to be Castiel.

Quick cut to the bunker.  Hey, where’s all the stuff I wrote?  Fuck, this is another episode that was lost in the Computer Crash of June 2016.  Fuck!  That computer crash was the gift that keeps on taking.

Sigh.  Okay.  So, Casifer was aware that Hands of God exist, but assumed they’d all been lost “in the Flood.”  Interesting.  Casifer says he can time travel, and when Sam questions it, makes noises about it being a different system than teleportation.  Dean is so eager for him to be right that they don’t question it, even though they should.  But then Dean says he’s going, because he can’t fight Amara but Sam can.  Casifer promises he won’t leave Dean alone, and Sam relents.  Casifer transports Dean, but Dean’s alone in on the ship.  This part feels like the end of an episode.

Sam’s in the bunker, researching or reading, and Casifer trudges down the stairs, soaking wet.  Sam is aghast, and Casifer explains the ship was warded, so he wasn’t able to get past the hull.  Sam argues he could try and go back earlier, but Casifer shuts that plan down, probably as much from irritation that a puny human outsmarted him (Delphine fucking rocks) as just not wanting to do it.  Casifer is acting very non-Castiel-like, but I will forgive Sam for failing to notice since he’s so worried about Dean.

Back in the 1940s, Dean manages to trick a soldier and steal his uniform, and ends up talking to Delphine in the first five minutes.  See, I like this.  The episode isn’t stalled and we don’t get a lot of garbage about Dean figuring out the past, because Dean Winchester is fucking smart and also badass, and does what he needs to do.

Delphine is in the process of kicking Dean’s ass (nobody else on the ship knew her real name) when they’re caught by the guy he stole the uniform from.  The captain is there, and Dean makes his declaration that he’s a time traveler (you know he loved doing that), and that the ship was going to be attacked by a Nazi warship within the hour.  The captain laughs and starts talking about imprisoning Dean and court marshaling him, but then they are interrupted and he’s told about the approaching Nazi warship.  Man, that captain’s face is so red right now, I bet.

Dean and Delphine are left alone with the one guy while the captain goes to investigate.  I think the guy’s name is Pete, so that’s what I’m going to call him.  Dean and Delphine talk about the warding and that Dean needs the weapon for a holy war in the future.  During this, Pete continually interrupts to ask for future information, like the next president and who wins the World Series in 1944.  This always happens in movies and TV shows with time travel, and I have never understood why this is helpful information for proving you are a time traveler.  There’s no way to verify it, at least not for awhile, so Dean could say anything he wanted.  The Nazi warship thing was more proof-worthy, I think.

Delphine shows Dean the weapon, and tells him the little stubby wooden thing used to be the Arc of the Covenant.  Oh my GOD, you guys.

Remember that episode from the sixth season?  I think it might’ve been Caged Heat, but I’m not sure and I’m not going back to look.  But it was the one where Sam was still soulless and trying to get Cas’s attention, so he tells him they found an artifact that burned some peoples’ eyes out, and then made fun of Cas when he asked where it was, because it was the plot of Raiders.  IT WAS REAL, SAM!  HE SHOWED UP TO HELP BECAUSE IT WAS REAL, AND YOU’RE LUCKY HE’S NOW THE DEVIL BECAUSE OTHERWISE HE’D BE THROWING IT BACK IN YOUR FACE!

Okay, I’m done now.  But that was so exciting, to get that confirmation!  At least for me it was.

Dean is excited about going “full on Raiders,” even if Delphine and Pete have no idea what he means.  She cautions him not to touch it, because touch activates it and no human can stand that much power for very long.  Then she wraps it up, pushes the box toward Dean, and heads off to clear the rest of the ship’s warding.

Back in the future, Casifer and Sam are researching.  Sam finds a spell that can blast through angel warding, and they’re excited for a minute, till he continues reading and realizes that only an archangel is strong enough to perform the spell.  Casifer twitches, and he oh-so-casually says they might as well try it, since it’s the only option.  Sam refuses, though, because it’s a waste of time as far as he’s concerned, and he walks away to do more research.  Casifer looks down at the book, considering.

Pete quietly questions Dean about the end of the war, which Dean tells him won’t happen till 1945.  They discuss that the ship is going to go down, and before things can get too melancholy, Delphine reappears holding a knife.  She pulls down her top a little to show the warding carved over her heart, and tells Dean he has to kill her.

Pete is horrified, and Dean explains he doesn’t have to kill her, just cut through the warding to break it.  Delphine says that’s not the case with this one, though: it’s tied to her heart and her blood, and the only way to undo it is to kill her.  Damn, girl.  Way to be through!  Dean takes the knife and prepares to do so, clearly reluctant, but before he can, the ship jolts and the lights flicker.

Some boring stuff with the captain and the crew tells us what we already know: the ship is under attack.  Dean and Delphine make their way to the cockpit (what’s it called on a ship?) and it turns out the warship’s being captained by her not-so-dead German lover, who tells her that he’s part of the Thule Society and that she should’ve burned his body.  Well, fair enough.  He did look like a ghoul even when he was alive, to be honest.  He then addresses the crew: he’ll make sure they’re all treated fairly as POWs if they give up Delphine and her cargo.  And if you can’t trust an undead Nazi, really, who can you trust?

There is a joke in there somewhere about Trump, but I’m not going to look too hard for it.

Sam comes out from – somewhere, I don’t know, the bathroom maybe, to find Casifer chopping up what might be a tamarind.  He’s got a bunch of other ingredients spread out.  Sam asks what the hell he’s doing, and Casifer says he’s going to try the spell.

So I should be paying attention to why Casifer is trying to convince Sam that he can do the gathering spell when he’s supposedly not an archangel, but I am super distracted because one of the spell ingredients is apparently a brain.  Like, there is a fucking BRAIN sitting on Casifer’s worktable, and Sam sees it and doesn’t mention it AT ALL, which means he knew they needed it.

I have questions.  Whose brain is that?  Did it have to be a specific brain that the Men of Letters just happened to have, or will any old brain do?  Is it human or animal or something else?  WHY DO THE MEN OF LETTERS HAVE RANDOM BRAINS JUST HANGING OUT IN THEIR STORAGE AREA?

It is suspiciously clean.  Maybe it’s just a model of a brain?  But that makes even less sense.

Ahem.  Sam tells Casifer that he remembers that time Cas used Bobby’s soul to power up for time travel, and offers to let Casifer do the same.  This part is great, because you can see Casifer sorting through Cas’s memories, and he looks so surprised, like he’s thinking he hadn’t realized his baby brother was such a kinky motherfucker.  Then Sam says he trusts Cas, even though the “procedure” could be fatal, and that would be super sweet if it was actually Cas he was talking to, or if Cas could hear him.

Casifer laughs and laughs, and then rips off his (metaphorical) mask.  Sam nearly pisses himself, and then Casifer takes the soul power and does a hilarious imitation of Cas’s voice.  People, this whole Casifer experiment has been wonderful, not the least because Misha Collins is doing such a fantastic job.  Like, whenever Casifer is on screen, I’m just sitting there, grinning like an idiot, wondering what he’ll do next.

But the threat to Sam’s life gets Castiel’s attention, and he manages to overpower Lucifer and talks to Sam briefly, saying he did want the possession (which, duh, angels can only possess after consent) and that they need Lucifer to rescue Dean.  I guess then he uses Lucifer’s power to time travel back, or lets go and for some reason Lucifer decides not to kill Sam.

Back in the 1940s, the captain and his crew promise Delphine they’d never give her up to the Nazis, because their orders were to see her home safely.  It’s a nice little moment, and bittersweet because we know they’re all going to die anyway.  Delphine and Dean confer about his “ride” and she says she’s going to use the Hand of God to blast through the warding and destroy the Nazi ship.  She takes it out and holds it, and starts to glow with a brilliant white light.  After a minute or so, she hands the Hand (ha) over to Dean, who wraps it in the cloth.  Everybody watches, and as she starts to go nuclear, Casifer appears beside Dean.  He watches for a second too, looking shocked, and then puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder and they’re back in the bunker.

Sam, still on the floor, sees them return and tells Dean it’s not Cas.  Casifer’s all, oops!  Then he tosses Dean into the wall and picks up the Hand, all excited, but finds out immediately that it’s a “one shot deal,” as Dean puts it.  Casifer tosses it aside and approaches Dean, all pissed and scary, but Sam’s drawn the banishing sigil and manages to banish Casifer before he can do anything.

Later, they sit by a broken pier.  I don’t know what the significance of that is.  I assume there are lakes in Kansas?  I mean, obviously there must be, unless Sam drove Dean hundreds of miles to some coastline so he could properly brood.  They chat about what happened, and how Cas said yes.  Dean’s in denial about his boo wanting the possession, and they agree they’re going to find him and save him.  Then he asks what happened to the Nazi ship, and at first I was annoyed because I thought he was referring to the Bluefin and we know it went down.  But then I realized what he was talking about.  Apparently, the Nazi ship went down too, but they found the wreckage, and it was like something had blown a huge hole into the insides.  So while Delphine couldn’t save the Bluefin and her crew, she did manage to take out the Nazis.  Dean sits there and stares off into the middle distance, probably contemplating the raw power of God.  Or maybe he wants a burger.  I don’t know, it’s not really clear.

I just realized that the episode’s title referred to the Bluefin.  I spent more time than I care to say trying to figure out what it meant.  I thought it was a human vessel.


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